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3 Common Causes Of Disagreements During Alimony Determination

Spousal support or alimony is a common cause of acrimony between divorcing couples. Often, the paying spouse wants to pay less than their partner wants. Below are specific reasons for such disagreements.

1. Disagreements on Financial Resources

Your respective financial resources determine whether one person requires alimony and whether the other person can afford it. Financial resources include:

  • Income
  • Employment benefits
  • Personal property
  • Property from the divorce settlement

Divorcing couples often disagree on the value of their financial resources. The person pursuing alimony tends to downplay their financial resources and exaggerate their partner's resources.

Courts understand these issues and require evidence for all claims. Therefore, the best way to improve your situation is to gather evidence. Employment contracts, tax returns, and bank statements are good forms of proof.

2. Disagreements on Financial Needs

The government uses alimony to ensure a divorcee's standard of living doesn't fall dramatically relative to their former spouse's standard. Thus, your standard of living during divorce determines your financial needs afterward. For example, you may need money to rent a house, pay utilities, or even go on vacation as you used to do during the marriage.

However, divorcing couples frequently disagree on the standard of living the person pursuing alimony is entitled to. For example, the paying spouse might claim that their former partner wants to live in a better house than the marital standard of living dictates.

Again, evidence of your respective financial needs is necessary to prevail in court. For example, past rental leases, receipts for vacations, and receipts for personal purchases may help you prove your claim.

3. Emotions

Divorce is an emotional affair, even without the issue of alimony. Financial aspects of divorce, such as child support and alimony, only increase emotions. Here are reasons alimony is an emotional issue for many people:

  • The paying spouse feels they should not support an errant spouse, especially if they feel the spouse pursuing alimony is responsible for the divorce.
  • They feel rejected and betrayed and want to make matters difficult for their partner.
  • Financial issues are generally emotional because money is a limited resource, and many feel they don't have enough.
  • Some people use the money to cover other feelings or to compensate for their inadequacies.

Try to separate your emotions from alimony discussions. Look at the facts of the case, such as your income versus your spouse's income. Lean on your friends and loved ones for emotional support. You can also seek psychological help from professional counselors.

To get started, contact a divorce lawyer in your area.


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